Can our Small Business Troubles Induce Feelings of Grief?

Reflection from our Owner, Amanda Puppo

I could not really put my finger on it. Why was I feeling a deep emotional loss when the rest of the world was experiencing confusion and loss right alongside me? And I thought, “how dare I” have feelings of depression due to the current state of things. I have not lost a loved one to this disease. Then I read this piece from Harvard Business Journal, “That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief”. It offered me the perspective I needed to write this article.

What I lost is my business. I mean, not really; in the depths of my logical brain, this is temporary. Though the weight of what is behind us and in front of us still seems insurmountable. I started this business when I had just turned 26, nearly 20 years ago. It was my first “baby” for sure.  

Anyone that has ever started a business from the ground up and has poured their heart and soul into it may be feeling the same way.

The grief is real. When half, or all your clients, in the same week call to cancel your services for now. When the end-in-sight is hazy and unclear. When you have layoffs, that were not even foreseen or could have been carefully planned for and you have to make quick decisions that will hurt people. When you know you are the facilitator of their loss of livelihood. 

It is out of a deep passion and drive for our seeds to take root, and blossom with a garden of friends to share in our successes. Our friends are those that have helped shape the garden, and these staff members as the lifeblood of our organizations are under our protection. When we fail to deliver that protection, it simply hurts. 

I am in no way comparing my ‘loss’ to the loss of life that typically defines grief. There is no comparison. The article for which was my inspiration is offering the well-known expression of ‘grief’ as one with meanings beyond what it is typically defined as. I write this from my own lens in hopes that others may also put some sense around this madness. This article referenced above also comes on the heels of a 2 trillion-dollar government emergency fund announcement. Instead of thinking, “great, we’re all saved”, I instead thought… “will a 4 month, fully paid unemployment option mean my employees may not come back?” This is what loss breeds – it breeds the skepticism for what could and should otherwise be good and hopeful. 

The article summarizes the action item of how to get through this with the following: 

Acceptance, as you might imagine, is where the power lies. We find control in acceptance… You can also think about how to  let go of what you cannot control.  

I have never met a small business owner that does not have control issues. A business that lasts, is predicated on well-thought out and strategic decision-making along with an extremely high level of commitment and dedication (a la control). Impulse and a laissez faire attitude are not typical characteristics of us Owners. Letting go is easier said than done. After all, it took a lifetime of us developing our controlling ways! 

I will take it one day at a time. I will have faith that we will return to normalcy sometime soon. And that we will survive and thrive once again. I wish you all good health and lots of walks in the sunshine, in the meantime.